How To Redirect Toxic Behavior

Toxic behavior is often disguised as helpful, but it’s not. If someone is constantly trying to take over everything or interferes with your plans, this is a sign of toxic behavior. You may also notice that if something doesn’t go their way they become angry or aggressive and start blaming others for their own mistakes. This type of person might also be controlling or manipulative by using threats or guilt trips to get what they want.

It’s hard to imagine why anyone would want to be around someone who is constantly judging, criticizing and putting you down. Yet, the fact is that there are people in your life who don’t have your best interests in mind. When you interact with toxic people, they drain your energy and make you feel bad about yourself.

Toxic people are often not aware of their own toxicity.

This is because toxic people tend to behave in ways that protect their fragile psyche. They may cling to these behaviors because they make them feel safe, powerful, or in control. That’s usually because they have felt unsafe, powerless, and out of control at key points in their lives. It may also be due to their childhood and the social climate they were raised in.

That means their toxic behavior makes perfect sense to them in the grand scheme of their lives. Given their toxicity works for them, they are not always aware of how…toxic…they seem to others. This means you may have to redirect their behavior when it crashes into your personal space.

There are some things you can do to redirect a toxic person’s behavior.

1) Schedule an appointment

Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly locked in a conversation with a toxic person?

It can be hard to know how to handle it—especially if you have other things on your plate, like work or responsibilities at home. But let's face it: toxic behavior is time-consuming, stressful, and downright annoying. And sometimes it just happens out of the blue!

In many cases, toxic individuals may not follow through with scheduling an appointment. This can be an indication of whether their behavior is simply venting or if they are genuinely interested in addressing an issue.

So what do you do when that happens? Try asking them to schedule an appointment to continue the conversation. This helps set healthy boundaries without alienating the toxic person by suggesting you schedule time to get together and chat. Chances are, they won’t follow through with the meeting or you can cancel it altogether when the time comes. This helps end the toxic conversation and allows you to redirect their behavior.

2) Create a small diversion

Toxic people tend to focus on whatever triggers them most. If you are in the midst of a toxic meltdown, create a diversion. Change the subject, create a new focus, or ask for help or advice on an entirely different subject. These tactics work well to redirect energy and focus away from the toxic issue at hand to a healthier subject.

One way to do this is by asking questions that require more than one-word answers like "What?" or "How?" This redirects conversation away from the toxic person's angry or negative thoughts and gives them time to think about how they want to respond.

If the diversion doesn't work, don't hesitate to set clear boundaries by calmly and assertively expressing that you are not willing to engage in the toxic conversation.

You can say something like: "I'm not interested in talking about this right now. I'd rather focus on what we can do to make things better."

3) Feign ignorance

One of the most effective ways to redirect toxic behavior is to fake ignorance or express an inability to engage in a complex or toxic conversation. This approach can help you maintain your boundaries and avoid getting drawn into a conversation that may be unproductive or emotionally draining.

When using this strategy, it's important to do so politely and respectfully. You're not trying to offend the other person but rather redirect the conversation.

It's important to note, however, that it's not always possible to ignore or redirect toxic behavior. In cases where someone is being abusive or using their power for personal gain, it may be necessary for you to take action (for example, by reporting them).

There will always be people in your life who are just negative. They can't be helped and they don't want to be helped. These people may not mean to be toxic, but that doesn't change how their behavior affects you.

That's why it's important to learn how to redirect their negativity. You don't have to try and solve their problems or put up with their bad attitude. Just focus on what you want, and find ways of getting there that don't involve dealing with them directly.