How to Put Yourself First in Order to Show Up for Others

If you're reading this, chances are you're someone who wants to show up for others.

You want to be present for your family, your coworkers, your friends—and everyone else in your life. You want to be there for them when they need you most and make sure that the people who mean so much to you get all the attention they deserve.

So how does one person manage all of this? How can we make sure that we're putting ourselves first so we can show up for others? The answer is simple: self-love and self-respect.

When we know that we and our time are valuable, it's easier to focus on what matters most—being there for those around us.

You Deserve the Best, No Matter What

You deserve the best, no matter what. You may not believe it, but it's true. You are worthy of love and admiration. You are worthy of being treated with respect. You are worthy of being cared for and honored.

If you grew up with critical parents, internalized self-care as selfish, or feel like you don’t measure up, you may not realize you deserve the best. Learning to love yourself and show up for your own needs can be hard when you haven’t made it part of your lifestyle.

It's okay to feel like this! It’s not your fault if you've been taught that being self-centered or putting yourself first is wrong. But what if I told you that it isn't? That's right: self-love and self-care are not selfish—they're necessary for a happy life.

When we don't take care of ourselves, our physical and mental health suffer in ways we can't even imagine. We become more susceptible to illness and disease; we have less energy for our loved ones; we start making poor choices because we're too distracted by our own needs; we become overwhelmed by stress; and the list goes on. In short, it doesn't make sense to ignore ourselves when there are so many great things about having healthy relationships with ourselves!

Many of us have been taught to put others first. We're told that we need to be selfless, that we need to be nice, and that we should always have something to offer others. At the same time, we're also taught that we're not good enough—that we don't deserve the best.

For some people, this idea has become so ingrained in their psyche that they don't realize it's there. They keep putting themselves second without even thinking about it, because it's what they've always done. But what if you could change your mindset? What if you could start believing that you deserve the best?

Shifting your mindset about your worth and value will help you discover the benefits of putting yourself first. You'll learn how to take care of yourself by setting boundaries and saying no when needed, knowing that you deserve to get what you want from life—even if it means saying no to someone else's expectations for you or for themself.

Putting Yourself First, Isn’t Selfish

We all know the importance of self-care. But when it comes to putting yourself first, we often get confused about what that means.

There's a big difference between putting yourself before absolutely everything and everyone, and making yourself a healthy priority. Self-care and putting yourself first is a very responsible way to live. You can’t give away what you don’t possess—which means you’ve got to show up for yourself before you can show up for others.

It can be hard to put yourself first when there are so many other things vying for your attention: work, family, friends, chores, errands… When we're feeling overwhelmed or under pressure, it's easy to fall into the trap of putting off our own needs in favor of taking care of others'. But when we do this too much—when we prioritize everyone else over ourselves—we start feeling like our lives are out of control. We start feeling like we don't have any energy left at the end of the day! Sooner or later, this starts affecting our relationships with other people as well: we start snapping at them more easily than usual; we might even start avoiding them altogether.

It's so easy to get caught up hustles of life—and especially if we're busy taking care of others. But we all need some time for ourselves too!

When you put yourself first, it does not mean that you don’t appreciate other people or their needs. It just means that sometimes it’s necessary for you to take some time for yourself so that you can feel better and better able to support others in their lives as well as your own.

Putting yourself FIRST even in the smallest WAY

If you've ever felt the need to put your own needs ahead of others', you're not alone. We live in a world where we're expected to put our families, friends, and jobs first.

The problem is that sometimes we end up feeling resentful or burned out—and that's not good for anyone. It's hard to feel like we can take care of ourselves when we're always focused on taking care of others.

But here's the good news: You don't have to sacrifice all of your time to put yourself first! Choose small ways to care for yourself and your needs and they will add up over time.

Here's are some of the simple ways you can prioritize yourself:

Blocking Out Time for Your Favorite Activity: Setting aside dedicated time for activities you enjoy, whether it's reading, painting, or simply relaxing, helps you recharge and find joy in your day.

Making Choices That Are Uniquely Your Own: Taking control of your decisions, such as what to have for lunch or how to spend your free time, reinforces your sense of autonomy and self-expression.

Making Fitness a Priority: Regular exercise is a fundamental aspect of self-care. Prioritizing physical activity helps boost mood, increase energy levels, and improve overall health.

Seeking Support from a Coach or Therapist: Professional support from a coach or therapist can aid in personal development, providing guidance and strategies for personal growth and well-being.

Enjoying Music or Podcasts While Driving: Incorporating music or podcasts that you love into your daily commute can make the experience more enjoyable and provide an opportunity for relaxation and learning.

Choosing Clothing That Boosts Confidence: Wearing clothing that makes you feel confident and comfortable can positively impact your self-esteem and overall self-image.

Setting Healthy Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries that protect your emotional well-being is crucial for maintaining inner peace and reducing stress.

Grow Your Confidence by Reaching Your Goals

Goals are important. They give us something to work towards and inspire us to get up and go. But what if you’re not reaching your goals? What if you’ve given up on them, or lost confidence in yourself? It could be hurting your self-esteem and making you feel like a failure.

If you want to build confidence, it’s important to be able to achieve things for yourself—and when you put yourself first and reach your goals, that’s exactly what happens! You inspire others around you to do the same thing.

But sometimes we let other people pressure us into changing our minds about our goals, or we give up on them because of fear that other people won’t approve of the choices we make for ourselves. Sometimes we just lose sight of why we wanted those things in the first place—and then it becomes easy for us to forget about them altogether.

It’s time for all of that to change! Set some new goals for yourself (or re-set old ones), and go after them with everything you have! If someone tries to talk you out of it, tell them they can try again next time—you have stuff to do!

The More you Show Up for Yourself the More You Show Up for Others

There's a saying: "Hurt people, hurt people."

If you're struggling with your mental health, it can be hard to show up for others. But when you're not taking care of yourself, it can be even harder to care for other people.

That's why it's so important to show up for yourself first. When you value characteristics like dependability, self-love, and following through—and put them into practice in your daily life—it's easier to express those characteristics in the lives of others. Healthy people help people in healthy ways!

Sometimes we forget to show up for ourselves, and then we can't show up for anyone else.

It's easy to get caught up in the lives of others, but when we don't make time for the things that are important to us, we end up feeling out of control and stressed out. We start worrying about things that aren't really important, like what other people think of us or whether or not they'll like our outfit. And then we get sick—and it's no one's fault but our own!

The best way to help others is by taking care of yourself first. If you don't value qualities like dependability and self-love, it will be hard for other people to see them in you at all times. So take some time today to reflect on what makes you feel good about who you are as an individual (and then do those things!).

You deserve it!