Need a Change? Reshape Your Flaws with These Tips

So, you've got a flaw. A big one.

It's something that you know is holding you back in life, but it's not something that's easy to change. You can't just grow an inch or two taller overnight, and you can't just stop being deceitful. But what if we told you there are ways to reshape your flaws?

It might seem like an impossible task, but it's not! All it takes is the right mindset, some hard work and dedication, and some time for your new habits to sink in and take root.

It takes effort to overcome our flaws. We must work hard at developing good habits and eliminating bad ones. And we must be willing to accept the consequences for our actions when we make mistakes. But if you set your mind to it, you can reshape your flaws into something better!

If your flaw is one that's within your control—such as being prone to lying or manipulation—then here are some tips on how to reshape those flaws:

Tip 1. Adopt the behaviors you want to have

Put simply, sometimes all you need to do is start walking the walk. Rather than engage in a character flaw, engage in the more appropriate behavior. If you struggle with procrastination, mindfully practice being proactive. If you find you are routinely late, mindfully adopt being on time. Adopting the behaviors you want can override the old tendencies and reduce or eliminate the flawed behavior.

If you find yourself slipping back into old habits, notice what happens just before the lapse. Are there specific situations or environments that trigger your behavior? Do certain people push your buttons? When you notice these triggers, take steps to avoid them or counteract them before they take over.

If your life is overwhelmed by fear of failure and self-doubt, take steps toward achieving success on a small scale first—even if that means starting with something small like making one call or sending one email per day until it becomes routine and easy for you. Then expand from there as confidence grows and risk-taking becomes easier.

Tip 2. Take a personality test

If you're having a hard time identifying your flaws or coming up with solutions to them, take a personality test. They can help you put labels on behaviors and personality traits that have been bugging you for years—and once they're labeled, they can be more easily fixed.

If you have trouble identifying what is at the root of your problems in interpersonal relationships, working through a personality test might be just the thing to help.

Tip 3.  Ask a trusted friend

Whether you have a handle on what your flaws are or have an inkling something’s not right, consider confiding in and asking a trusted friend or mentor. Humbly asking for insight can open the door to an honest conversation. This can lead to a plan for reshaping your flaws and build in an accountability partner to offer support along the way.

In order to start this process, you’ll need to identify who that person is. If you have an existing relationship with someone, it may be as easy as asking them to have coffee or lunch with you. If you don’t know anyone yet, consider doing some networking events or joining a professional organization where you can meet new people.

Once you find someone who seems like they might be able to help, sit down with them over coffee or lunch (or whatever works best for both of you) and ask them if they would be willing to give you some feedback on what they see as your strengths and weaknesses. They may not have time for more than one meeting like this before moving on from their own lives, so make sure they know how important their input is before requesting it!

Tip- Emulate people that inspire you

If you want to change something about yourself, don't try to do it alone. We've all got flaws, and we're all trying to overcome them in our own way. But if you're not careful, you can end up isolating yourself from other people who could be helping you along the way.

That's why we're here: to help guide you through some of the most common ways people try to change themselves—and how they fail—so that you can find success in your own journey.

One of the most common ways people try to change themselves is by emulating others who inspire them. They read biographies or watch interviews with their heroes, and they try to adopt the traits they admire in those people into their own lives. 

Tip 4. Focus on what’s right with your flaw:

Your flaws in and of themselves may not be positive, but there may be something positive about them. For example, if you fear abandonment, you may struggle with self-worth but compensate by being very attentive and trustworthy. Dropping the flawed belief you aren’t worthy may be important, but maintaining the positive character traits of trustworthiness and dependability is equally important.

In order to do this, try to identify what it is that makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe it’s your ability to be a good friend or an attentive employee. Maybe it’s your sense of humor or your ability to take care of others. Whatever it is, make sure to focus on your strengths as well as your weaknesses so that you can live up to both sides of who you are!

If all else fails, remember how far you’ve come! You might not have been born with confidence or a sense of humor—but now you have them!

Maybe you don't need a change. Maybe you just need to reshape your flaws.

If you have a flaw that's holding you back, it can feel like there's no way to fix it, or even get over it. But what if we told you that was wrong? What if we said that the first step toward changing the way you think about your flaw, and therefore changing your life, was simple: start small and build on your goals?

Changing something as complex as yourself can feel overwhelming, but when you take it in small steps and reward yourself for each one, you'll find yourself feeling more confident and happy than ever before.