My Biggest Fear...and it Happened

My Biggest Fear...

After a grueling 2 part surgery, a 6 day coma, and 17 days in the hospital with hallucinations that are still real to this day...20 months post op it happened!

My biggest fear was now a reality.  All I was doing was putting my shoes on getting ready to head into town and get my blood work done for my upcoming appointment...bam,  something like hitting a funny bone ran through my body.  At the same time, my oldest furbaby Cody jumped up and ran to me.  Yea even he knew...

After dealing with the shock of what I thought just happened I continued to get my stuff together and called my hubby and headed to town.  I decided to go straight to the emergency room instead of my planned activities, I just knew something was wrong and it was scaring me to death.

First, walking into the ER during a Covid 19 pandemic is scary enough, but not knowing, but deep inside knowing, what happened just a mere hour ago was so upsetting I could barely contain myself.

The nurse met me at the door, checked my temp and since I already had my mask on sent me to a seat.  So should I call Jon now or after I was thinking...yeah I better call him now because deep inside I already knew I was going to need my ROCK!  So I did and he came right away.

As the nurse did her thing and the X Rays were taken...we waited for the results.  Jon said to me"so what exactly were you doing?" and I simply replied, putting on my shoe.  I asked the nurse for some water and she said no not at this time because you might need surgery...my eyes widened as I turned to Jon in  somewhat of a plea...no babe no.

It doesn't matter that even when deep down inside you know your body so well that hearing the words...your hardware is broken still makes your heart drop to your toes.  I couldn't believe it, but then again I knew my worst fear came true...broken hardware.

I just sat there as the ER Doctor was telling us that basically my back was broken and I needed to contact my original surgeon right away.  All my thoughts of the previous surgery 20 months ago, 2 back to back surgeries equalling 24 hours (7 and 17), a 6 day coma, 17 days in the hospital and so much recovery. But...what about Jon, he had a entirely different experience being by my side, exercising my legs each day of the coma, willing and praying for me to wake up.  We were both just devastated.

My L2 rod to sacrum and screw had broken and I was on my way back to a revision surgery without making it to my 2 year post op.  I knew God was getting ready to put me in a new season...but now as I cross over that threshold to this season, I understand why He had been quiet.  Ok I tell myself, there is more to my story, more you want me to share, more to my testimony and Lord I will not let you down.

The hospital  mailed my records to my surgeon, Dr. Patrick McNulty, and I waited for his call.  When he did call it wasn't his nurses, it was him and he simply said in his matter of fact manner that I appreciate, we got to get in there and fix this...this is the base of your entire spine, without hesitation I said ok let's do it.  Hardware broke July 1st, 2020 and I was off to Vegas from Montana to repair my fusion on August 4th, 2020 to do this battle alone due to Covid 19...but was I really alone...no!  More on that next week.

To God be the Glory forever and ever Amen!

Tammy X